Shame is not my name.

Shame is not my name... anymore.

But it was, for a long time.

It wasn't until just a little over a week ago that I still carried that name.  I was having a very candid conversation with God, and I suddenly realized that shame has been my motivation for literally EVERY action in my life!

Clean my house- SHAME
Lose weight- SHAME
Love my kids- SHAME
Serve my husband- SHAME
Give to the church- SHAME
Read my Bible- SHAME

Trust me when I say, this list will never end.

The thing is, shame is the result of guilt.  And there will never be a shortage of guilt in my life- because I am GUILTY!!!  I am guilty of sin- so much sin.  Shame is the despair I feel over the guilt of my sin.

But, fortunately for me, there is Good News!  The Holy Spirit had to give me a little reminder.

That's why Jesus died.  He took your repulsive sin and gave His life in payment of restitution. Your sin has been paid for.  Your past sins and your current sins and the ones you haven't even committed yet!  They are paid for!  You CANNOT ever make up for your sins with good works.  That's why shame as a motivator gets you NOWHERE.  You won't get better, you won't feel better, you won't be changed by your own discipline.  You will always only feel shame.  Only I can take your shame away.  

So, guess what?  I gave HIM my shame.  And now, I am not ashamed.  Am I still guilty of sin?  Absolutely!  But my despair no longer defines me!  My identity isn't wrapped up in my performance anymore- it's wrapped up in Christ's work.  I once heard a preacher say,  "If you rely on your own works for righteousness, you will never be at rest- because your work will NEVER BE DONE.  But if you rely on Christ's work, you will be at rest.  Because Christ's work is done!  It is finished! It is perfect!"  

I am finally at perfect rest inside.  Finally.  

Shame is not my name anymore.