Even the little stuff

Life is messy.  Really messy.  Well, maybe your life isn't messy, but mine sure is!  And I'm not talking like a little bit messy, I mean über gross, sometimes filthy, disgusting messy.  And it's not just the physical things in my life like dishes and old food in the sink, or the masses of clean and dirty laundry piled all over my room, or the toys strewn over every inch of the house.  No, it's also my health, and my spirit that are often perfect mirrors of my physical environment.  And I've  asked myself, "How did this get so out of control?  Why did I let this happen?"

Now before now, this reality triggered an unending cycle of frustration in my heart.

This is AWFUL!

You really need to fix this.

I must try HARDER!  I'll give my house a makeover!  I'll give my health a makeover!  I'll become the most faithful, Bible-reading, devotion-having, successful Christian wife and mother EVER.

Commence obsessive cleaning, dieting, praying, etc...

It usually takes me about three days before I'm back to business as usual.  The funny thing is, I've always known I was on the hamster wheel of personal transformation.  I just simply thought, "This time it will be different.  This time I'll do better.  This time I'll stick with it.  I'll have more discipline.  Everything will change, this time..."  Such good intentions.

But now, I finally must recognize my good intentions for what they are- SIN.  And why, Friends, are my well-intentioned motives so sinful?

Ah!  Listen to what my heart is actually saying...

I can do this!  I can make my life better!  I can change myself.  I don't need God's transformative power in my life, all I need is an uncompromising work ethic!

Well, if all this world needs is for people to try harder, then who needs salvation?!

So what's my point?

Without God's transformative power, I will NEVER get off the incessantly squeaky, stay-in-one place, never-get-anywhere hamster wheel of personal mediocrity.

There.  I said it.

I need God.  Only He has the power to transform a heart, a circumstance, a life.

So now I must surrender all.   Even all the little stuff I think I can handle.  Especially the little stuff.  Because it's the little stuff that keeps me independent, when God wants me dependent on Him.

Shame is not my name.

Shame is not my name... anymore.

But it was, for a long time.

It wasn't until just a little over a week ago that I still carried that name.  I was having a very candid conversation with God, and I suddenly realized that shame has been my motivation for literally EVERY action in my life!

Clean my house- SHAME
Lose weight- SHAME
Love my kids- SHAME
Serve my husband- SHAME
Give to the church- SHAME
Read my Bible- SHAME

Trust me when I say, this list will never end.

The thing is, shame is the result of guilt.  And there will never be a shortage of guilt in my life- because I am GUILTY!!!  I am guilty of sin- so much sin.  Shame is the despair I feel over the guilt of my sin.

But, fortunately for me, there is Good News!  The Holy Spirit had to give me a little reminder.

That's why Jesus died.  He took your repulsive sin and gave His life in payment of restitution. Your sin has been paid for.  Your past sins and your current sins and the ones you haven't even committed yet!  They are paid for!  You CANNOT ever make up for your sins with good works.  That's why shame as a motivator gets you NOWHERE.  You won't get better, you won't feel better, you won't be changed by your own discipline.  You will always only feel shame.  Only I can take your shame away.  

So, guess what?  I gave HIM my shame.  And now, I am not ashamed.  Am I still guilty of sin?  Absolutely!  But my despair no longer defines me!  My identity isn't wrapped up in my performance anymore- it's wrapped up in Christ's work.  I once heard a preacher say,  "If you rely on your own works for righteousness, you will never be at rest- because your work will NEVER BE DONE.  But if you rely on Christ's work, you will be at rest.  Because Christ's work is done!  It is finished! It is perfect!"  

I am finally at perfect rest inside.  Finally.  

Shame is not my name anymore.

A Word of Encouragement

A few Sundays ago, our pastor at Bridges Community Church preached a sermon on encouraging one another.  (If you would like to take a listen, you can do that here.)  As believers, we are called to edify the Body of Christ by encouraging one another; this is good and vital to our healthy function.  This sermon impacted me so much that I decided to do put this practice of affirming others into action. Often in the past, I've justified myriad reasons why "so and so" doesn't need me to say "such and such."  You're familiar with the excuses, right?

• She'll probably think I'm weird!
• It might be awkward!
• I haven't talked to them in years!  
• I'm sure he gets praise from plenty of other people, he's so popular...

But do you know what I have found most surprising?

In every instance I have reached out to someone, I too have been encouraged!

Isn't God GRAND?????!!!!!!

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,  not giving up meeting together,as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.  ~Hebrews 10:24-25

Valentine's Day

Today I'm reminded that my life has had many surprising twists and turns.

As I set the table for my Valentine's Day dinner tonight, I set out two of the placemats that Harry and I bought on our honeymoon.  They are laminated cityscapes of Montreal, Quebec.  Beautiful photographs, really.  A smile came to my face as I was reminded that 22 year old Eva and Harry had no idea that someday three children would eat on those very placemats.

I'm thankful I didn't know.  I think we put way too much stock in the value of knowing what's ahead.  I'm sure I would have been terrified to know of the hardships ahead, but every day of my life God has shaped and stretched me into a much wiser, kinder human being.

Today was the twelfth Valentine's Day Harry and I have spent together.  I'm sure the next twelve years will hold just as many surprises as the last.


It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect~ Psalm 18:32 (NKJV)

Something new for Lent

I've been miserable inside for a long time.  I mean, the misery seems to come and go, but the reality is that I've had this underlying sense of desperation in my inner life that has nagged me for  years.  The source of that misery is this thought:

You are not a good person.

That thought leads to many other simliar thoughts:

You aren't a good example to your kids.
You don't give enough.
You are cranky and unkind. 
You are undisciplined.
You don't read your Bible and pray enough. 

Therefore:

Your life doesn't matter.
You will never do anything worthy for God.
You'll never be the kind of mother or wife you want to be.  

So:

Why bother?  
Why try?
Who will even notice if you just disappear?

Believe me, these are the kind of thoughts that make for a desperate, worn out, unhappy person.  Now, before you get worried, I'm not depressed.  I've been there before and that is not where I am right now. In fact, I didn't even know that I was feeling this way until recently.  These feelings slowly kept coming to the surface and I wondered why.

Finally, I took a long hard look at myself.  And I thought:

I AM selfish, often self-indulgent, unkind.  I'm trapped in my own sin.  What on earth am I supposed to DO about this?  I just want to transform myself into someone better!

And then the thought came to me:

But only God has the power to transform!

I sat there in stunned silence.  It had crept in.  Somehow, even though I knew the truth, I had still believed the lie.

You don't need God's help.  You can be a good person if you just discipline yourself, if you try harder, love better, do it a little bit at a time- afterall, you can't change yourself overnight.  You don't need God.
 
Funny how you can know something, and yet not know it, ya know?

I had a long conversation with God that day.  In that conversation I realized I need to give up.  The truth is, if I HAD the power to transform myself, I would still be less than perfect. Why? Because I am, at my core, an imperfect, hopelessly flawed human being; and my mind simply cannot even conceive perfection.

I would say that is a pretty good reason to let a perfect God handle the transformation of my heart rather than me.

So, for the season of Lent, I've decided to meditate on the Good News of Jesus in my life everyday.  Instead of focusing on my own will power to change or forcing myself to suffer for my own shame's sake, I will rest in the power of the Cross.

I pray you have blessed Lenten season, and may the Good News of Jesus lighten your load!

Eva

Birthday Girl!

Halloween is a always a fun day for us, particularly because it is our oldest child's birthday. We had to reinvent our traditions a little because we moved to a new state and all...  Fortunately for us we are always involved with a church who does a big Halloween outreach event, so we have built in entertainment. : )
And this year was no different!  So the staff at Bridges decided that all the pastors should be superheroes this year.  Harry was chosen to be the Incredible Hulk, which basically meant that I had to magically transform him into a green monster on a very slim budget.  And I am happy to report, I DID IT!!!!  And here are the results of my efforts:

The Incredible Hulk-
1 long sleeve green t-shirt turned inside out to hide the graphics- $9.88 at Walmart
1 tube of green body paint- $2.49 at the Spirit of Halloween
1 halloween make up palette- $2.97 at Walmart
1 old t-shirt- FREE
Grand total- $15.34

Incredible Hulk!

Beautiful Mermaid-

1 costume gift from a friend- Free

Mama's make-up donations- Free

Butterfly Fairy-

1 shirt from the closet- Free

1 skirt- $4 at St. Vincent de Paul Thrift Store

Mama's make-up donations- Free

Butterfly Fairy and Beautiful Mermaid

Sweet Little Pumpkin-

Pumpkin Costume- $2 purchased 2 years ago at a consignment sale

Sweet Little Pumpkin

Alas, there was little time left for me!  So I went as a Mexican girl.  Pretty much like going as myself!  I bought this dress for my tenth birthday in Venezuela.  And it still fits!  

Mexican Girl

Not bad for $21.34!

Happy Halloween!!!  

Harry's epic day of adventure

So, a few days ago, Harry told us all that he had an epic surprise planned for us this Saturday.  He dutifully kept it a secret until today at 11:40 (after he got back from Impact Day at church).  Then he told us we'd be going for a drive.  We packed some sandwiches and water bottles for lunch in the car and away we went.

First stop Marianne's Ice Cream Shop in Santa Cruz.  Marianne's is a cash-only, 55 year old, hole-in-the-wall ice cream place that just so happens to be FANTASTIC.  Harry had a double scoop of butter pecan, I had a single of blueberry cheesecake, the girls had bubblegum ice cream on cake cones, and Q had good old-fashioned vanilla bean.  : )

After ice cream, we hopped on over to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk.  Now that was an experience!  I have never seen a carnival at the beach- because that is what it looked like to me!  The Boardwalk comes complete with roller coaster, funnel cakes, sno-cones, roll-a-rama, annual chili cook-off, lots and lots of sandy beach, and ocean for miles.  We walked around for an hour or so and took some photos.

THEN, we took a drive up the gorgeous, gorgeous coast.  And who knew that on the coast overlooking the Pacific Ocean is miles and miles of farmland?  So we stopped at a farm and bought some seriously good strawberries-- which we ate immediately. : )  Actually, Q ate most of them...


From the coast, we cut over on hwy 84 through a winding, twisting wooded area full of redwoods.  These things are huge!  It was pretty neat to see so many redwoods.  Now, these are not the famous redwoods found north of here, but they are still really tall!

And since we live across the San Francisco Bay just off of hwy 84, we took the Dumbarton Bridge over the Bay and back home.


It really was pretty epic.  : )

                  Santa Cruz Boardwalk                                      Marianne's Ice Cream (and one happy boy)

Beautiful ache

A beautiful ache.

That's my life right now.

I spent the weekend with my daughter who had a stomach virus...for the second time this month.

I got to talk to my best friend for the first time in six weeks.  That was beautiful.   But I cried like a baby afterwards because I miss her and her family so much!  My sick little daughter lay weakly on the bed next to me, wiped away the tears that were streaming down my face, and stroked my hair.

Beautiful ache.  

The Cardinals lost and it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.  Not because I'm that attached to the Cards.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I love 'em.  But the thing is, when the Giants clobbered us it felt like my life in St. Louis was being clobbered to death.

Ache.

But God has been so generous to us!  In just weeks, not only did He provide us with a place to live, but He also filled it up with furniture.  The people of Bridges Community Church have reached out to us-they've brought us meals, cleaning supplies, and presents for the kids.  Harry has really enjoyed his new  job and has discovered that he's been waiting and preparing for this his whole life.

Beautiful.

And me?  Well, I'm just trying to hold on.  It's been a wild ride.  I'm learning to walk in trust.  To lean heavily on a God who loves me; to love and to smile even when it hurts.  

And I'm so grateful to those who are walking with me.


May the Lord bless you and keep you tonight.

Eva

Leave It to the Cards...

So as I think of the many California-ish things I could blog about, tonight I'm just thinking about St. Louis.  : (

I've spent the last month incredibly focused on settling our things in our rental house, acquiring furniture (as most of you know we sold all of our furniture before we left), and getting school started for our lovely children.  I've been too busy to notice how much I miss the life we left!  But leave it to the Cardinals to remind me!

Coming from a girl who never watched (or cared about) sports, let me just say that marrying a man who lives and breathes sports has kind of sort of changed me... a little bit.  : )  I now know when the Superbowl is, how various professional sports leagues are divided, and how play offs work.  I too now hate the BCS and look forward to post-season baseball.  I'm not a die-hard fan, but I know a thing or two about a sport or two.   And call me crazy, but I actually just sat and watched an ENTIRE baseball game all by myself tonight.

The Cards lost, and I was sad.  And I missed living in Shaw.  I recalled the electricity in the air when we won the World Series last year.  I could almost feel the cold, crisp air, and smell the fall leaves.  And I wished desperately for something familiar.  Everything here is new, and the Cardinals nostalgia was to strong to deny.

Leave it to the Cards....

Starting Over

Hello from California!

I haven't blogged in about six months, and I actually have a pretty good excuse!  Not a great reason, but it's pretty good for an excuse...as excuses go!  : )  But first let me give my excuse a good back story...

On June 7, 2011 as I was driving across Texas with my kiddos, I had a little prayer time with the Lord.  The kids were asleep, and I was stuck in traffic with nothing to do but think and pray.  I felt the Lord tell me very clearly, "You're moving out of St. Louis next summer.  It's going to be far away- out of state.  It's going to happen very fast, so you are going to need to be ready."

I was incredulous.  "There is no way I'm hearing this right!" I thought to myself.  I just knew I had to be hearing voices.  Of course, the Lord reminded me that He knows the future, and that He is perfectly able to give me a heads up if He wants too.

"But still, God, You have got to be kidding me! My family is ROOTED in St. Louis. Harry JUST started in a new job.  I have found the PERFECT school for the girls.  My closest friends in the world are in St. Louis!"

I went on and on.  But somewhere, deep down in my heart I just knew.  I knew that God had spoken to me.  And I knew that as crazy as it all sounded, I needed to trust Him.

Well, this was kind of a big deal.  It was so much of a big deal that I didn't tell Harry about it for a month!  When I did finally get up the nerve to tell him, he took it quietly and said that we should be patient and wait to see what the Lord did.

So, for the next thirteen months we waited to see where the Lord would direct us.  While we waited, we prepared ourselves for the move.  I donated truckloads of items to Goodwill, painted and scrubbed, replaced all our appliances and packed all of our things that weren't in daily use.  It took every ounce of courage I had to step out in faith and pack my things when I had no earthly reason to believe that I would be moving.  There were so many countless times that I thought I must be crazy to walk so blindly in the direction I felt God was pointing me.

And this brings me to my point.  At the end of February of this year, I felt the Lord really urging me to finish getting our things packed and our home ready to sell.  I felt so foolish, but I was DRIVEN to continue.  I didn't know a thing, and yet I just knew.   But I wasn't confident enough to declare over the Internet that I was packing up my house because my family would be moving very far away to an undisclosed location in the not too distant future.  And I really and truly couldn't think of anything else to write about. Really and truly.

And then, the Lord started to work on Harry.  He shared with me that the Lord had told him that he didn't get the luxury of waiting anymore.  It was time to move in the direction the Lord was pointing.  But let me tell you one tiny detail.  We still didn't know where the Lord was calling us.  So Harry resigned from his position at The Word at Shaw in May of this year effective July 15th.  

And THEN (deep breath), right around the beginning of July things really got cooking.  Harry had sent out a bunch of resumes around the country, and had only received negative replies.  ONE church in
California responded that they were interested.  That was THE church.  Bridges Community Church in Fremont, Ca. The rest is history.

Harry had his first of many interviews on July 26th.  They offered him the job on September 2nd.  Harry flew out to California on Sept 12th and the kids I followed on the 14th.  We moved into our rental house on September 21st--the LAST day of summer.

And now we're starting over. And it's hard at times.  But I can say with conviction:

God is so good!  And I'm happy because I'm in His will.  I've got a smile on my face because I'm where He wants me to be.  Even if that means starting over...

This photo was taken Sept 22nd, the day after we moved.

Habit Training

I had a minor epiphany this week. My family doesn't help around the house... and it's all my fault.

If I don't ask, it simply doesn't get done. If I don't do it, it doesn't get done. When I realized that I was the only one who cares about this house, it was about all I could do to keep from yelling at them all and giving them a piece of my mind. I contemplated quitting. Seriously. What would everyone do if I just stopped cleaning up after everyone, and cooking their meals? Would this change anything?

Regretfully, I decided I better not make any rash decisions in my frazzled state. I was a little disappointed because I was kind of looking forward to state of chaos that would soon ensue. : )

But as I mulled things over, something else occurred to me.

They don't help because I haven't trained them to help. I've trained them to do whatever they want while I do all the work. That has got to change. Today.

While doing some research I came across this quote:

"Thoughts lead on to purposes; purposes go forth in action; actions form habits; habits decide character; and character fixes our destiny." ~Tryon Edwards

So this is what I've decided to do. Instead of trying to make a major overhaul of our family life in one afternoon, I'm going to choose two habits that require our daily attention. (This all pretty much coincides with my "start small" mantra too.) Here they are.

1. Put your clothes, shoes, coats, hats, etc. away. If you are not wearing it, it should be put away. This includes the bedroom!!!

This habit addresses a major issue in our home. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE has the very bad habit of leaving various articles of clothing laying around the house. So we are replacing a bad habit with a good one. Plus, once we get this one down, the girls' room will be 50% cleaner, and mine will pretty much stay clean all the time! Works for me.

So, this next habit isn't really about our messy house, but I figure while I'm on the habit train I might as well throw in some good healthful habits for good measure!

2. Drink a glass of water when you wake up in the morning, one at each meal, and one before bed.

I'm pretty sure we aren't drinking enough water. Simple as that.

Once these become habits, I'll add more. I'll keep you posted on how this works.

Well friend, thanks for reading my plan. Please send any suggestions my way!

Sabbath Mondays

So, let me just say that I am super lucky to get to take Monday as my Sabbath day. First of all, I get to completely avoid the icky Mondays that seem to plague our society. Secondly, I get to spend time with my whole family during the work week, which means we generally get the whole place to ourselves wherever we go. (Unless you're going to Goody Goody Diner in North St. Louis City. It was jam-packed at 10 am on a Monday! We seriously had to wait 15 minutes to be seated. But I'll tell you about that in minute... ) Thirdly, I really feel I should have a third reason, but I simply do not so give me a minute while I come up with something................. Got it. As a homeschooling mom, I REALLY need the extra rest to get the energy I need for the rest of the week.

A few years ago, Harry and I decided to try to take a true Sabbath- a true day of rest. Not just an off-day, or a day to collapse from exhaustion. On Mondays we try to do the things that refresh us and bring peace to our lives. It's the day we treat ourselves to the things we don't get during the week. These are some of the things that have made their way into our Monday traditions:

1. we almost always have doughnuts. My girls LOVE doughnuts and they don't really get any sugar during the week so this is a big treat for them... and me. Although, sometimes I will get a cheese bagel instead.

2. we try to get out of the house. If the weather is nice, we try to get outside, and if it's not, we may go to the mall or something.

3. we almost always watch Phineas and Ferb. We really love this cartoon. : ) This is the only day of the week the girls get to watch tv. On Friday nights we have movie night, but other than that, this is it.

4. game night before bed. Sometimes its wii, sometimes it's a board game, or a puzzle.

Most importantly, we spend the whole day together. I think taking this day together every week has really bonded us as a family.

So take today, for instance. Today was one of the BEST Sabbath Mondays we've ever had. It wasn't so much what we did, but the fact that we ENJOYED it so much! It didn't hurt that it was 65 degrees in January and the sun was shining like a bright, spring morning! That said, what we did was really cool too!

First, we met Harry's parents and some friends at Goody Goody Diner, after getting to sleep in until nearly 9am. Yum. Is all I can say--both to sleeping in and Goody Goody. I decided to try the chicken and waffles. Nothing like fried chicken, half a Belgian Waffle, hash browns, and two eggs (over medium, thank you very much) to start your day! As a side note, I would also like to point out that my kids half officially reached a new level of food consumption. It's the level where they actually eat. It's a little scary actually. I'm gonna have to start praying for the Lord to give me a little extra income just to feed them! But I digress.

After Goody Goody we decided to go for a little drive downtown. As I said before, it was warm and bright today so downtown just sparkled. Add to this Brisa's steady stream of impassioned comments about how fantastic and beautiful and wonderful and perfect the day was, and it really kept the positive spirit floating pretty high. : ) I love that girl.

Then we went home and the girls watched Netflix while Quinty, Mama, and Daddy all took naps. Yes, I said it. I napped for two hours from 1:30 to 3:30 and it was FANTASTIC. I can feel your envy.

THEN, we all went to the Tower Grove Park and drank in the last few warm hours of St Louis sun on a kick scooter for Brisa and roller skates for Kahmylia. Quinty ran around laughing and making exquisitely ridiculous faces. : 0 I spotted Kay on the roller skates and raced Brisa on her scooter while Harry took pictures of the all the fun. It was so much fun.

After a quick trip to the grocery store, we ate sandwiches for dinner and wrapped up the day with a little Super Mario Brothers on the Wii. Then we put so VERY happy kiddos to bed. It was awesome!

Now I'm chillin in the bed blogging and doing lesson plans for the week.

Ahhhhh..........

Sabbath Mondays are the best!

Love this face!

He's so fluffy I could die!!!

My girls!

Brisa Bella

Kay on her new roller skates.

Little Boy kisses! : )

My little handsome man.

Blog Envy and Acorn Squash

So, I've been poking around some blogs lately. And I've discovered that I have blog envy. This is part of the reason why I have so much trouble keeping up with my blog. I want to have a really cool, important blog, but I don't think I always have really cool, important things to write-- or really impressive photography to illustrate it.

So this is my response. To myself.

The way I figure it, the people who read my blog want to know about ME. And I want to share about ME. I'm not going to blog about things that I know nothing about. And I'm not going to present myself as someone I'm not.

So here are the facts. (I am very factual.)

I'm kinda scattered. (This drives Harry batty. Sorry, Babe.) I'm always gonna have trouble keeping up with my keys...and my cell phone...oh, and my glasses.

I'm not given to routine. My family does not eat meals at the same time every day. I don't shower at the same time everyday. After a year of effort, school is finally starting to look like something that resembles routine. After a year.

I am not a photographer. This is not my fault.

These things make blogging a bit of a challenge.

But I do have some things going for me. : 0 More facts about me.

I am very creative. I crochet, sew, decorate, sing, garden, craft, and I like to dabble in whatever else catches my fancy.

I am always cooking. I need people to love my food- and they usually do. ; )

I am a follower of Christ. My faith walk is simple, but not easy; requires much sacrifice, but is so worth it.

So there you have it. These are some of things I'll be blogging about. Illustrated with not so great pictures from my camera phone. And sometimes, if you're lucky, Harry will take some pictures for me with his fancy, shmancy camera and help me post them.

But for tonight, I'll leave you with a simple recipe with a mediocre picture of a very cute human subject and a very delicious food subject!

Two ways to make Acorn Squash

Ingredients:

Acorn Squash

Butter

Cinnamon

This recipe is so delicious and so simple and my kids love it. Triple bonus points for the kid love!

Step 1: Cut acorn squash in half.

Step 2: Scoop out the guts and seeds and throw them out.

Step 3: Smear butter all over the inside and sprinkle with cinnamon. (You can add a little brown sugar if you really like it sweet, but I and the kids find that the squash is sweet enough.)

Step 4: Bake at 400 degrees F until tender (about 30-45 mins).

Eat warm! Super yummy!

Now, you can see from the photo that I made half of the squash with just butter. Another thing you can do with this squash is stuff it! Fill up that little squash half with rice or fried cabbage and ground turkey (an Eva original I will be posting later), and you can make a whole meal out of a $2 squash!

Step 5: Make a filling as simple as buttered rice to stuff your acorn squash.

There you have it!

Starting Small

It's 11:30 pm on the first day of the year, and I'm gonna try something new.

Blogging...

at least once a week, maybe more.....

I am the queen of setting unrealistic expectations for myself, so this time I think I'll start out slow and build momentum instead of starting out in an excited frenzy and fizzling out by the end of the week.

I'm gonna start small.

In fact, I'm gonna take this idea of starting small and start applying it to everything in my life that overwhelms me. Lots of things are in that category.

Spiritual disciplines overwhelm me.

Keeping my house clean overwhelms me.

Losing weight overwhelms me.

I could go on, believe me.

I get so discouraged because everything feels too big to handle.

And then a still, small Voice whispers, "One step at a time." And I remember that one small step starts me on the journey. Starting small is gonna get me where I need to go.

Here's to starting small!

May God bless you with enough faith for that one small step.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Classical Singing and Contemporary Worship: Incompatible?

So, here's the thing. I'm a classical singer. I am a Christian. Many of the churches I've attended are really going for a contemporary style in music, presumably in an effort to be "relevant" in an ever-changing culture. Now, I am fairly certain that a classical style voice wouldn't be welcome on a Sunday morning at my church. I am married to the worship pastor after all. I won't put words in his mouth, but I know opera isn't a sound he's looking for. I'm not really sure that I'm suggesting that we should be incorporating this style into our worship services, but I do find myself wishing that I could somehow merge two of my passions: classical singing and worshipping God. That does make sense, right? It seems logical to me. Music and worship go together, right? I recognize there are churches out there that do incorporate classical style voice (I accompanied for one for a year and a half), but in my experience these churches can't or don't do any contemporary music at all. And I LIKE contemporary music! I guess I just want it all.

Am I being unreasonable?

My Name

Now, let's just make one thing clear. I do not have a problem with people mispronouncing my name. This is not about that. What I do have a problem with is people who make me feel like I don't know how to pronounce my own name, or maybe--more accurately--my parents didn't know how to pronounce my name. So, I'm hear to set the record straight.

If you are reading this and you speak Spanish, you already know how to pronounce Eva in Spanish. However, the question then becomes, how should Eva be pronounced in English? The easiest thing for me would have been simply to go by the English translation of my name--Eve. Simple. No one would mispronounce it. But, (sigh) my parents didn't get that started for me, and having people call me Eve just never occurred to me as a child. Other ideas did come to me, most notably the day I decided to tell the neighbor girl that my name was Isabel (my middle name) and when she came over and asked if Isabel could come out to play, my parents didn't know who she was talking about! So, you can't say I didn't try.

So back to the question at hand. How should Eva be pronounced in English? Some bearers of this name prefer to have it pronounced, Ava with a long a sound. I've never really preferred this because it just doesn't sound close enough to the Spanish pronunciation. Others prefer Eva to be pronounced with a long e sound as though it were short for Evangeline. This one I particularly dislike because it sounds the least like the Spanish pronunciation. Sadly for me, it is the most common pronunciation of my name, and, as I understand, a rather common southern name. My favorite thing that people ask me is, "So, do you pronounce your name 'ava' (long a) or 'eeva' (long e)?" Hmmmm......Neither. I prefer my name to be pronounced with a short e sound as though it were short for Evelyn. This sounds almost like the Spanish pronunciation of Eva, only people usually pronounce it "Ehvuh" as opposed to "Ehvah."

Now, again, I don't have a problem with people mispronouncing name. I get that people have different preferences for how they like their names pronounced. But if you ask me how to pronounce my name and I tell you how to say it, don't then say, "Oh, you're name is really Eeva (long e), but you just pronounce it Ehva (short e)." Really? Or how about, "Are you sure that's how you pronounce your name?"

Seriously.

And yes, that really happened.

Rant Week

Welcome to Rant Week at All Things Eva! Starting tomorrow and each day for the rest of this week I'm going to "rant" about things that I really care about, or maybe even things that really bug me. I am looking forward to sharing my heart, and I'm hoping that people will respond in kind--with their hearts. Here's to some good conversation!

Stolen Moments

This morning when I woke up it was raining. I don't always love rainy days--especially when there is a long string of them--but this particular morning I just wanted to curl up, stare out the window, and listen to the sound of the world rushing by in the downpour. But then I heard the girls moving around upstairs and I thought, "The girls are up. Soon they will wake up Quint, and my quiet moment will be interrupted before it starts. Why bother." Funny. I find that I am interrupted so often that I now anticipate interruptions. But then I thought, "You know, I think I'll sit for a minute anyway. Even if I only get two minutes it will be worth it." And then I had a minor epiphany. How often do I miss out on a moment because I know I'll be yanked out of it before I'm ready? VERY OFTEN. Every day, in fact. How much enjoyment of life am I missing? I think I'd like to find out! So, guess what? I decided to steal a moment staring out the window this morning. And--delightfully--my moment turned into half an hour of reading the book of Esther curled up next to my husband on the sofa. Eventually, the girls clomped down the stairs and interrupted my reading, Quint woke up fifteen minutes later, and I had to get up. But I guess the point is that had a I resigned myself to what I thought would happen, I would have missed out on a beautiful start to my day.

I pray you savor a moment today, Friend.

Quirky things about Me

So tonight I thought I would share some things about myself that some of you may not know about me.

I like to crochet--a lot. My grandmother taught me a few basic stitches and the rest is history. I have never followed a pattern, but I've crocheted scarves, blankets, skirts, shawls, pot holders, curtains, anything I can think to crochet. Someday I plan to learn how to read patterns.

I breastfeed, use cloth diapers, and make my own organic baby food. I did this with all three of my kids. I didn't use cloth diapers exclusively with the girls the way I do now, but I think it still counts. ;)

I was a piano major for three years.

My childhood nickname was Evie. Also, my name is Spanish. Eva is the Spanish name for Eve. I have no idea why Eva is so difficult to pronounce or why people feel the need to tell me that I'm mispronouncing my own name.

I feel the need to keep things that are not recyclable instead of throwing them away. I feel a twinge of guilt every time I put something plastic in the trash.

I have uncontrollable empathy. I frequently feel physical sensations of embarrassment when I watch television or movies. Many times I just change the channel or get up and walk away.

Well, there is a lot more to be told, but I will save it for another night!

Sweet Potato Cinnamon French Toast

I made this recipe up last week, and I have to tell you... it was DELICIOUS. Seriously. So I must share. Now, if you read my last recipe, you know that I have trouble with measuring and following directions. So bear with me; these are just estimations. But I highly doubt you could mess this up if you've made French Toast before.

Ingredients:

1/2 of a large baked sweet potato

1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce

1 tbsp (or so) of sugar and cinnamon mixed together

2 large eggs

1 1/2 milk (you can always a little more if needed)

bread ( I used Trader Joe's Organic Oatmeal Multigrain Bread)

butter

maple syrup

Directions:

Take the sweet potato (peeled of course), applesauce, and sugar/cinnamon mixture and mash it and mix it together. In a separate bowl, beat two eggs. Add milk and sweet potato mixture. Mix together until combined. At this point, you will want to warm your skillet on medium heat. I personally don't like cooking spray so I use butter. I put enough butter in the pan to coat it. Be careful not to let the butter burn. Take a slice of bread and dip it in the egg mixture, covering both sides. Place the bread in the pan and cook on both sides. Serve with a sprinkle of powdered sugar and drizzle some maple syrup over the top. So good!

Tips and Tricks:

I mix ground cinnamon and sugar in a spice container so I can just sprinkle some on my food when the desire strikes me. Very handy.

I use a pastry cutter to mash things with-avocados for guacamole, bananas for bread, etc. You get the picture.

The trick to this recipe is to find just the right temperature. If it is too hot, it will burn the egg coating and leave the middle of the bread too soggy. Not hot enough, and you end up standing there for 5 minutes, spatula in hand, wondering if they're ever gonna cook (my family isn't patient enough for this scenario).

Hope you enjoy this recipe as much as we did!